I've touched on this subject before, but here I go again.
There was a day in the last year or two, where my husband and I had a conversation about friendships. We've gone through frustrations of "why do we have to always be the ones to visit" or "why do we always have to plan things" or "we seem to be the only ones that care about this." But I think we made those comments because we thought maybe we should feel that way, but the truth is, we don't mind. So we were having a conversation about some of our friendships and we made an active decision during that conversation.
No matter how inconvenient it seems, no matter how "one-sided" it appears, it is our job to reach out, to make plans, to visit, and not necessarily expect anything in return. Now, there are some people that we will never be good friends with, and that's fine, we won't push it. But, we have a good sense about who is worth maintaining friendships with. And we have agreed that we will continue to make this effort. Our relationships are the most important things in our lives. Now, sometimes you have to pick which ones are more important.
For the last couple of years, we have made a pretty big effort to make sure we are able to create friendships within CR, our new home, so that we can make it a good place for us to live. That has definitely meant not traveling to see other friends as much, and, frankly, we only have so much time in our lives. However, we continue to strike a pretty good balance of making sure we spend time with friends at home, further away, and of course, our family. That's not the easiest thing in the world either, because although not far, our family is a little spread out. I also recognize that this way of doing things doesn't work for everyone. My husband and I have made an active decision on this, and it works for us, because it is in both of our strengths set to maintain relationships and be givers of our time and energy. We are also both extroverts, getting our energy from others, and so although it can still be tiring to travel or host people, we thrive on it. That is not how everyone functions! For us, it works out well, and we can share our love, and get our own energy from operating this way. This is how we stay balanced and happy in our lives.
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Starbucks
I find an odd amount of joy by going to Starbucks. I mean, yes, they do provide me my daily dose of caffeine, which is totally necessary. But beyond that, there is always something I find to make me smile.
First of all, kudos to the baristas. I don't think I've ever had an unpleasant barista. They really have the customer service thing down! And really, I interact with the barista for less than one minute probably total. Take order, take money, have a nice day. And even with that they always seem to make me smile.
I have also heard that Starbucks is an excellent place to work. They give benefits to even their part time employees, good pay, etc. Starbucks is my backup plan. I have thought, for many years already, that some day I need to work at a Starbucks. I need to be a part of what gives me so much happiness, and see why the baristas are always so happy! Do they really like their jobs so much? And if so, I'm in! But seriously, whether its a part time job while the kids are at school, or a retirement gig when I'm old, jobless when we relocate for Chris's job? I'm going straight to the nearest Starbucks. Do you think I'm qualified? My last retail/customer service job was at Panera in high school... but I have a master's degree, and I know my lattes, so I think I can cut it as a barista.
Oh yeah, Starbucks is also a sponsor of really great humanitarian efforts, creating jobs in America, building greener stores, and free trade coffee. Too bad their coffee is so expensive. Unfortunately, it is also superb. I guess that's pretty good business.
My favorite Starbucks experience? Oh wait, I have two. See? I told you I loved this place. First one: Going to the first Starbucks in Seattle. Now those have got to be the superior baristas. The place is always packed with tourists of course, so there was a greeter who told you which line to go in, the person that took your order and the person that gave you your coffee. They had it down to an art, and in those 45 seconds, still managed to ask you where you are from, etc. What an interesting place to work! I bet you would meet so many interesting people. My second favorite Starbucks experience is when someone in front of me paid for my drink. I've done this before, especially around Christmas time, but man did it make my day when it was done for me. What a wonderful tradition that Starbucks has encouraged, random acts of kindness. Nothing better than giving back a little hope for an overall rundown society.
Genius: http://www.starbucks.com/about-us/company-information/mission-statement
First of all, kudos to the baristas. I don't think I've ever had an unpleasant barista. They really have the customer service thing down! And really, I interact with the barista for less than one minute probably total. Take order, take money, have a nice day. And even with that they always seem to make me smile.
I have also heard that Starbucks is an excellent place to work. They give benefits to even their part time employees, good pay, etc. Starbucks is my backup plan. I have thought, for many years already, that some day I need to work at a Starbucks. I need to be a part of what gives me so much happiness, and see why the baristas are always so happy! Do they really like their jobs so much? And if so, I'm in! But seriously, whether its a part time job while the kids are at school, or a retirement gig when I'm old, jobless when we relocate for Chris's job? I'm going straight to the nearest Starbucks. Do you think I'm qualified? My last retail/customer service job was at Panera in high school... but I have a master's degree, and I know my lattes, so I think I can cut it as a barista.
Oh yeah, Starbucks is also a sponsor of really great humanitarian efforts, creating jobs in America, building greener stores, and free trade coffee. Too bad their coffee is so expensive. Unfortunately, it is also superb. I guess that's pretty good business.
My favorite Starbucks experience? Oh wait, I have two. See? I told you I loved this place. First one: Going to the first Starbucks in Seattle. Now those have got to be the superior baristas. The place is always packed with tourists of course, so there was a greeter who told you which line to go in, the person that took your order and the person that gave you your coffee. They had it down to an art, and in those 45 seconds, still managed to ask you where you are from, etc. What an interesting place to work! I bet you would meet so many interesting people. My second favorite Starbucks experience is when someone in front of me paid for my drink. I've done this before, especially around Christmas time, but man did it make my day when it was done for me. What a wonderful tradition that Starbucks has encouraged, random acts of kindness. Nothing better than giving back a little hope for an overall rundown society.
Genius: http://www.starbucks.com/about-us/company-information/mission-statement
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Today my husband had this conversation:
Him: Well, I play soccer on Wednesdays and usually 3 hours of volleyball on Thursday, so I'm usually pretty sore and tired by the end of the week.
Friend (well, I should say, older acquaintance/coworker) : Whoa, your wife let's you do all that?
Him: Let's me? She plays with me every week at volleyball and always comes to watch my soccer games.
Friend: Wow, you guys need to have kids or something so you...
Him: ...Stop having fun?
Friend: Yeah, well, enjoy it while it lasts, pretty soon you are going to have kids, and then one of you will have to stay home, and the other will feel bad about being out, and then you'll just both stay home.
Why, yes, that does sound appealing. Why don't we start having those kids right now?
Was he seriously trying to criticize our life because we have time to enjoy ourselves and he doesn't? Or rather, he does, but his wife will make him feel guilty?
We have been married for less than a year. I think we'll have kids when we are ready, or apparently when we want to be boring and stay at home all the time. Thanks for the life advice though!
Him: Well, I play soccer on Wednesdays and usually 3 hours of volleyball on Thursday, so I'm usually pretty sore and tired by the end of the week.
Friend (well, I should say, older acquaintance/coworker) : Whoa, your wife let's you do all that?
Him: Let's me? She plays with me every week at volleyball and always comes to watch my soccer games.
Friend: Wow, you guys need to have kids or something so you...
Him: ...Stop having fun?
Friend: Yeah, well, enjoy it while it lasts, pretty soon you are going to have kids, and then one of you will have to stay home, and the other will feel bad about being out, and then you'll just both stay home.
Why, yes, that does sound appealing. Why don't we start having those kids right now?
Was he seriously trying to criticize our life because we have time to enjoy ourselves and he doesn't? Or rather, he does, but his wife will make him feel guilty?
We have been married for less than a year. I think we'll have kids when we are ready, or apparently when we want to be boring and stay at home all the time. Thanks for the life advice though!
The simple things
Part of living a balanced life is being able to appreciate the simple things of life. Finding things that you enjoy, no matter how simple (whatever that means to you- cheap, easy, not-fancy, not complicated).
Today, I went to our downtown Farmer's Market. Now, to those that put it in, this is no simple operation. It has over 260 vendors and spreads over 5 blocks or so. However, to me, it is something simple for me to attend, and I LOVED IT.
Downtown is only a few blocks from here, so a nice walk, especially on a nice day. I got down there and had about a hour to browse. The only thing I needed to buy was jelly, so I picked that up right away. The rest was just on me to see if I wanted anything! I really enjoyed watching the people, seeing all the produce, creative projects, and whatever else people were selling. I just wandered around, sipping coffee, trying samples, browsing through tables, dodging dogs. And at some point, I caught myself smiling. I thought how great it was that everyone was enjoying local producers, walking around outside. How simple. And yet, how rewarding.
Today, I went to our downtown Farmer's Market. Now, to those that put it in, this is no simple operation. It has over 260 vendors and spreads over 5 blocks or so. However, to me, it is something simple for me to attend, and I LOVED IT.
Downtown is only a few blocks from here, so a nice walk, especially on a nice day. I got down there and had about a hour to browse. The only thing I needed to buy was jelly, so I picked that up right away. The rest was just on me to see if I wanted anything! I really enjoyed watching the people, seeing all the produce, creative projects, and whatever else people were selling. I just wandered around, sipping coffee, trying samples, browsing through tables, dodging dogs. And at some point, I caught myself smiling. I thought how great it was that everyone was enjoying local producers, walking around outside. How simple. And yet, how rewarding.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Work hard, play hard
Two Rules:
Rule number one: Life is more important than "insert employer name here".
Rule number two: Remember Rule Number one.
We like our jobs. Most days. But they are our jobs. We have determined our careers, studied to be in them, get fulfillment out of them, but they are our jobs. We have a life outside of them, and we are okay with that, actually, we prefer it that way.
I have always thought I would be fairly career- focused. I've always worked really hard and it has gotten me far! I did well in college, and then again in grad school, got a job right away, have always gotten great recommendations from supervisors, etc. Don't get me wrong, I still, and always will, continue to work hard. But while searching for a job, preparing for a marriage, starting a new job and a new marriage at the same time- that I have priorities. My job is a priority, but my family and friends, and tending to those relationships is higher. And so is tending to myself.
I have learned that a job can take over your life unless you set personal boundaries, limits, and schedules. It is rare to have a supervisor tell you to go home, not stay late, that it is okay to not finish that project today. I've gotten luck with a supervisor that supports balance, but it is up to me to determine all of this.
I schedule meetings around things like working out and dinner with friends. Already have dinner plans? Then you are not available at that time, as opposed to cancelling your plans. I take work out classes because they are easy to schedule in. I go back to work after the gym when I need to- but I've still accomplished things for myself when I need to.
DO schedule things like dinner or drinks with friends or your significant other. Have other things in your schedule as well. We are in a volleyball league. I need to be there or else I'm letting the team down! Having someone to be accountable to can really help this. My husband helps my balance- we both notice if we haven't seen each other a lot lately! We live together for goodness sakes! So if it isn't a spouse- make yourself accountable to someone else (a book club, a workout buddy, a drinking buddy, a church, volunteering, etc).
Some work projects have deadlines or are high importance- that's when I end up working late, etc. But there are definitely work projects that will still be there on your desk for you to work on tomorrow. There is always going to be work to do. Leave your to-do list unchecked, go home, and tackle it tomorrow when you can.
Rule number one: Life is more important than "insert employer name here".
Rule number two: Remember Rule Number one.
We like our jobs. Most days. But they are our jobs. We have determined our careers, studied to be in them, get fulfillment out of them, but they are our jobs. We have a life outside of them, and we are okay with that, actually, we prefer it that way.
I have always thought I would be fairly career- focused. I've always worked really hard and it has gotten me far! I did well in college, and then again in grad school, got a job right away, have always gotten great recommendations from supervisors, etc. Don't get me wrong, I still, and always will, continue to work hard. But while searching for a job, preparing for a marriage, starting a new job and a new marriage at the same time- that I have priorities. My job is a priority, but my family and friends, and tending to those relationships is higher. And so is tending to myself.
I have learned that a job can take over your life unless you set personal boundaries, limits, and schedules. It is rare to have a supervisor tell you to go home, not stay late, that it is okay to not finish that project today. I've gotten luck with a supervisor that supports balance, but it is up to me to determine all of this.
I schedule meetings around things like working out and dinner with friends. Already have dinner plans? Then you are not available at that time, as opposed to cancelling your plans. I take work out classes because they are easy to schedule in. I go back to work after the gym when I need to- but I've still accomplished things for myself when I need to.
DO schedule things like dinner or drinks with friends or your significant other. Have other things in your schedule as well. We are in a volleyball league. I need to be there or else I'm letting the team down! Having someone to be accountable to can really help this. My husband helps my balance- we both notice if we haven't seen each other a lot lately! We live together for goodness sakes! So if it isn't a spouse- make yourself accountable to someone else (a book club, a workout buddy, a drinking buddy, a church, volunteering, etc).
Some work projects have deadlines or are high importance- that's when I end up working late, etc. But there are definitely work projects that will still be there on your desk for you to work on tomorrow. There is always going to be work to do. Leave your to-do list unchecked, go home, and tackle it tomorrow when you can.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Hey, I work out!
There are days when I love to exercise.. and there are days when it takes all my effort to get my butt off the couch. But overall, I exercise on a regular basis. I don't plan on ever running a marathon, and I'm not trying to lose weight. I just want to be strong and healthy and live a long life, and exercise needs to be a part of my life if I want all of those things. I recognize that exercise puts me in a better mood, relieves stress, and gives me energy, so I find exercises that I enjoy. I 100% respect those that work out more than I do, run marathons, triathlons, etc., but here are my thoughts on if you are trying to start, or just get into a good routine of regular exercise:
1. Find a go-to 20 minute exercise.
I don't accept the "I don't have time" excuse, but there are definitely days when I certainly don't have a lot of time, but still want to fit in a workout. Yes, 60 minutes is best, but 20 minutes is always better than 0. For me, Jillian Michael's videos are my go-to 20 minute exercise. She has a few of them that are only 20-30 minutes, and they incorporate cardio, strength, and abs (read: a full body workout in 20 minutes!). And they are difficult, but not too difficult- perfect for a balanced life :)
2. Zumba
I LOVE ZUMBA! There are classes everywhere- a lot of them through recreation centers or dance studios (so you don't need a gym membership). Zumba's slogan is "Ditch the workout, join the party," which is so true. If you like dancing (which I understand not everyone does, but I do) you will love Zumba, it keeps you moving and is guaranteed to make you sweat. If you go regularly, you will also learn how to get more out of every workout, work the right muscles, put more effort into each step, so you will sweat just as much as you want to. And don't worry, no one is really watching you, and everyone looks a little silly. Plus, the average Zumba class burns 400-500 calories!
3. Workout classes
I'm a huge fan of workout classes. I understand that everyone has a different style, but my belief is that group fitness classes allow you to more easily get motivated and work harder. I have a hard time pushing myself during a workout, so group fitness is a great way to do that, someone else is telling you what to do- and people are working hard around you! Also, if you have a hard time getting to the gym- having a specific time that I need to be there has always helped me, you can even put them on your calendar/schedule meetings around them if you are a long hours type of person.
4. No gym membership is no excuse
I have a gym membership because I like group fitness classes, and because I can afford it. If you can't or choose not to, or just plain won't use it, there are still ways to keep in shape. I already mentioned my Jillian Michael's DVDs- there are tons of different kinds of DVDs that you can try, and all they require is a couple of hand weights. I prefer one that is not a specific plan, but just something you can do when you want to, and switch it up as you please. There are also really easy ways to workout at home, so put on your favorite show, or blast your iPod, and jump rope (without the rope), do push-ups, high knees, lunges, punches, etc. You can find suggestions online if you can't think of them yourself. I also like to run outside. I believe everyone can run, or jog, or jog/walk, and that can be done outside (I prefer it that way). You don't need to run 10 miles, but just start with 30 minutes (I do it regularly, and I still just do about 30 minutes- I get bored)- and go as slowly as you need to, or interval with walking, and see what a difference it will make overtime.
Workout buddies can be great motivation if you need someone to keep you accountable. If you skip a day, just go the next day, or the next day! Don't set goals that you can't achieve, and find something you enjoy! Go pick up a cute new workout outfit- and get to work!
1. Find a go-to 20 minute exercise.
I don't accept the "I don't have time" excuse, but there are definitely days when I certainly don't have a lot of time, but still want to fit in a workout. Yes, 60 minutes is best, but 20 minutes is always better than 0. For me, Jillian Michael's videos are my go-to 20 minute exercise. She has a few of them that are only 20-30 minutes, and they incorporate cardio, strength, and abs (read: a full body workout in 20 minutes!). And they are difficult, but not too difficult- perfect for a balanced life :)
2. Zumba
I LOVE ZUMBA! There are classes everywhere- a lot of them through recreation centers or dance studios (so you don't need a gym membership). Zumba's slogan is "Ditch the workout, join the party," which is so true. If you like dancing (which I understand not everyone does, but I do) you will love Zumba, it keeps you moving and is guaranteed to make you sweat. If you go regularly, you will also learn how to get more out of every workout, work the right muscles, put more effort into each step, so you will sweat just as much as you want to. And don't worry, no one is really watching you, and everyone looks a little silly. Plus, the average Zumba class burns 400-500 calories!
3. Workout classes
I'm a huge fan of workout classes. I understand that everyone has a different style, but my belief is that group fitness classes allow you to more easily get motivated and work harder. I have a hard time pushing myself during a workout, so group fitness is a great way to do that, someone else is telling you what to do- and people are working hard around you! Also, if you have a hard time getting to the gym- having a specific time that I need to be there has always helped me, you can even put them on your calendar/schedule meetings around them if you are a long hours type of person.
4. No gym membership is no excuse
I have a gym membership because I like group fitness classes, and because I can afford it. If you can't or choose not to, or just plain won't use it, there are still ways to keep in shape. I already mentioned my Jillian Michael's DVDs- there are tons of different kinds of DVDs that you can try, and all they require is a couple of hand weights. I prefer one that is not a specific plan, but just something you can do when you want to, and switch it up as you please. There are also really easy ways to workout at home, so put on your favorite show, or blast your iPod, and jump rope (without the rope), do push-ups, high knees, lunges, punches, etc. You can find suggestions online if you can't think of them yourself. I also like to run outside. I believe everyone can run, or jog, or jog/walk, and that can be done outside (I prefer it that way). You don't need to run 10 miles, but just start with 30 minutes (I do it regularly, and I still just do about 30 minutes- I get bored)- and go as slowly as you need to, or interval with walking, and see what a difference it will make overtime.
Workout buddies can be great motivation if you need someone to keep you accountable. If you skip a day, just go the next day, or the next day! Don't set goals that you can't achieve, and find something you enjoy! Go pick up a cute new workout outfit- and get to work!
Blog Introduction
The idea of this blog has really manifested over time... but then came to life randomly one day while perusing Pinterest boards.
While in graduate school for Student Affairs, the topic of "balance" came up on a regular basis. I heard many professionals tell me "it is impossible," "they are bad examples of it," "I don't have it," and yet they still said, "It is really important," "You should always find out if it is supported in your job search," etc. etc. etc. As time went on through my graduate school experience and my job search, I realized that balance is important to me. It is important in my job, but also in other aspects of my life.
My husband and I have recently started our life together, as a young, happy, married, working couple, and our life is pretty average- or like I choose to see it- balanced. Therefore, I am here to share with you topics surrounding a balanced lifestyle. Here are some things about my husband and me that have led me to believe we live a happily balanced life:
While in graduate school for Student Affairs, the topic of "balance" came up on a regular basis. I heard many professionals tell me "it is impossible," "they are bad examples of it," "I don't have it," and yet they still said, "It is really important," "You should always find out if it is supported in your job search," etc. etc. etc. As time went on through my graduate school experience and my job search, I realized that balance is important to me. It is important in my job, but also in other aspects of my life.
My husband and I have recently started our life together, as a young, happy, married, working couple, and our life is pretty average- or like I choose to see it- balanced. Therefore, I am here to share with you topics surrounding a balanced lifestyle. Here are some things about my husband and me that have led me to believe we live a happily balanced life:
I have a career- I love it some days and hate it other days
I work some long hours- but I also take time off, and say “no” when I want to
I exercise- but not all the time
I eat well- most of the time.
I have an apartment.
I have money- not too much, but more than just enough, and spend it reasonably.
I have friends- not a ton, but enough to be happy.
I like to go out sometimes, and I like to stay in others.
I love my family more than anything- but I live an independent life.
I don’t have kids- but we will when we’re ready.
I’m an optimist- but I'm realistic.
Get the gist? I hope you enjoy whatever it is I come up with to say!
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